Which is more deadly? Is it the Ninja who kills with sharp medieval weaponry and who can vanish in a puff of smoke? Is it the Sniper who is never seen, and wields his rifle with lethal precision, ghosting his mark from great distances, and then vanishing without a trace? Or is it the Unicorn who […]
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Bending ego
Please think upon our insignificance in the grand expanse of the universe, and how the slightest considerate gesture might make us feel wonder and adoration, like our appreciation of the stars upon which we gaze. Humbly yours, J
Sisyphus
In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a king. And as king, Sisyphus had many options as to how he would rule his kingdom. As Greek mythology states, Sisyphus was a bit of a tyrant and violated many of the mandates of the Greek gods. The story continues with Sisyphus outsmarting different personifications of death due to his […]
Semantics, Space, and Simians
Let us conduct an exercise by combining two random words. Air worm. Dirt whisker. Cactus muffin. Butt fossil. Carpet weasel. Road door. Productive philosopher. Corn Relax. Stumble Melon. Awkward digit. Tomato politician. Aside from one admittedly reaching, and not so subtle dig on deep thinking, none of these combinations make a lot of sense. All of […]
Old Knobby
Many years ago, one of the premier locations for specialty bottles in my area was Capone’s in Norristown, Pennsylvania. I have since found many competing bottle shop options, yet despite the hour and a half drive, I will still visit Capone’s on occasion for special releases. One of my prized finds there was Gratitude by East […]
MOOB
Stand up straight. Drive on the proper side of the road. Be kind to strangers. Say please and thank you. Maintain a balanced diet. Frequently exercise. Be considerate of your elders. Look people in the eye. Tell the truth. Use sir or ma’am. Treat people with respect. Your manboobs should not be bigger than your […]
Narcissistic Helper
OH MY GOD! WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY DO? MY ARM DOESNT REACH FAR ENOUGH ALOFT TO ENCAPSULATE MY SURROUNDINGS AND TO INCLUDE MY FACE IN ONE SELF-ABSORBED IMAGE! Just in time for this scenario, the selfie-stick enters the market. Not only is it an additional, essentially irrational contraption, but it boasts the ability to improve the […]
It’s all so lost
I can’t help it. Sometime you can’t help the feelings. Sometimes denial is like trying to forcefully kick a waterfall to receding, and going back the way it came. I’m compelled to feel, when my senses are assaulted, no, not assaulted, but forcefully reawakened by invigoration, reminiscence, and nostalgic ferocity. I listen to this song […]
Triumvirate
Many years ago I was a “partier”. With this moniker came an incredibly stupid responsibility. This responsibility was to carry on as wildly as possible and to drink any booze that floated close to my gullet. For a spell I had a penchant for tequila, and passionately gulped shots of Don Julio, Jose, and *hurggge* Zapata. I […]
Sitzt auf der Anklagebank der Berliner Weisse
Feel free to google translate at your leisure this witty, creative, and only relevant to this forthcoming discourse, title. For those acquainted with my work, a fusion of several different ideas into one cohesive process is familiar. For those unfamiliar, I sincerely hope that the binding dialogue involving three, seemingly unrelating items, will not come across […]