Which is more deadly?

Is it the Ninja who kills with sharp medieval weaponry and who can vanish in a puff of smoke?

Is it the Sniper who is never seen, and wields his rifle with lethal precision, ghosting his mark from great distances, and then vanishing without a trace?

Or is it the Unicorn who gores your face off with its razor-sharp spike, and pummels your body with the force of its rainbow bellows?

All are considerably formidable warriors on their own.  But what if they joined forces?

Ninja Snipa – Pizza Boy Brewing Company – This is one tasty DIPA, or imperial IPA if you prefer, and contrary to its moniker, you can definitely see this one coming.  Rather, smell it coming, would be more appropriate.  Pouring this hazy, orange blossom honey colored beer generates invisible wisps of glorious scent that penetrate the olfactory senses.  Intense mango is the first scent followed by hints of pineapple and tropical fruit which draws you towards the first sip.  Those cartoony word bursts, like POW! and ZAP! from the old Batman TV series, should accompany descriptors of the flavor to punctuate the intensity. JUICEY! MANGO! BITTER! There are subtle elements, namely floral and piney notes, that round this out with the priors.  Perhaps this is aptly named after all, as the effect is that which one does not see coming.  This is so tasty and drinkable that the pint is quickly near empty when I fell the 10% shuriken, or maybe its a bullet, hit my bloodstream.  Consider this beer assassination delightful. 8.5/10

Ninja vs. Unicorn – Pipeworks Brewing Company – Granted, this is not a fusion of two of the three destroyers listed above.  But it fits the theme, so if it pleases you, I’ll just continue.  This is definitely lighter in body as well as in color. This beer has a pleasing golden straw-colored body that is fairly translucent.  The ninjas must not like to leave a trace of head, and similar to the Pizza Boy DIPA this has little off the bat, and what little it has vanishes quickly.  The Unicorn element at play is decidedly fresh, airy, piney, and crisp in smell.  This packs a bitter, piney/hop flavor that causes a veritable cheek sucking reaction, in the most pleasant way possible.  The finish on this one is the polar opposite of the ninja snipa and is very dry as opposed to juicy, yet remarkably, beckons ones next sip with equal fervor.  Perhaps that allure is simply the majesty of the unicorn.  8.5/10

Sometimes, totally different taste profiles manage to be equally delicious.  Which may make the first part of my discussion negligible. Who is the winner? Ninja? Sniper? Unicorn?

Yes.

Humbly yours,

J