It’s interesting to look at our current, modern world, and test the things that people value, and the validation that is given between one person and another, especially relating to social media. 

I’m referring specifically to the idea of making something “Facebook official.” Which seems to mostly address relationships, and will therefore be the focal point of this discussion. Im also referring to using social media as a validation tool for feelings, intent, or even as a judge of character. 

I’d like to look at the relationship standpoint first. Two people meet, have several enjoyable dates, and then tell each other that they’d like to have an exclusive relationship.  Simple enough. Each person has communicated their feelings and emotions clearly to the other party, and an accord occurs.  Then, two weeks down the line, person A says to person B, 

“Hey, why didn’t you post on Facebook that we are in a relationship?”  

“Oh? I didn’t realize that was important. I thought agreeing together was what was really mattered?”

“Well, of course it does! But I want every one to know! I want it to be Facebook official.”

And so, a digital log of the commitment occurs, and innumerable likes are pressed, and all friends now know the official status.  

But why did this have to occur? Was the in person, spoken agreement not binding enough? As a measure of trust, does one party not believe the other until it’s broadcast to the social media world? Or, does the validation of the one person not mean as much as the assurance of masses?  This applies in reverse to a break up. Two parties agree, or one does and the other has little choice, to part ways.  But the in person discussion doesn’t matter if the Facebook official status doesn’t change.  One person, likely the one requesting the Facebook official tag in the beginning, will see a non-status change as a persistence of the relationship, even if in person, the dynamics are altered.  It’s curious to me how much weight is given to social media, versus looking someone in the eye, and telling them how you feel.

This power of social media applies in many other ways, but the relationship part seems most prominent.  Did you have an argument with someone? Tell them via text or phone call how you feel and that you won’t be communicating anymore? The block function on Facebook needs to be applied or that person won’t take it seriously and continue to think that what you said doesn’t matter. How about leaving someone blocked, even after mending the issue? That says a lot too. It says that I’m ok with you in to your face, but with social media, I’m still a little concerned.  What about letting someone remain a friend on Facebook, even if they are not? What kind of message does that send?  

How about using social media as character evaluation? Many companies have taken to reviewing someones Facebook page and social media accounts as a way to evaluate a candidate.  Because, ones Facebook page logging their travel destinations and random emotional outbursts is likely to be a solid gauge for the type of worker they are.

We’ve come so far from looking someone in the eye, shaking their hand and saying “I mean these words that I’m saying to you.”  If it’s not digitally catalogued, it doesn’t count.  I’m not saying that social media doesn’t serve a function whatsoever, I’m just thinking that when it’s power to overshadow organic interaction and emotion is demonstrated, things have gone a bit too far.

Humbly yours,

J

I hope you enjoy reading this via your preferred social media experience.