This phrase makes me think of incredibly tense scenes in action movies.
Perhaps it is the one where aliens have attacked the earth, subjugated a majority of its inhabitants, with those who haven’t been captured, mounting a brave assault on the hive mind compound, with hopes that this bold action cripples the six-limbed, bug-eyed invaders, and relieves humanity from a perilous, near-extinction assault by these space creatures. The sweaty, emaciated, mud-encrusted, leader, in tattered, shabby garb, rallies his freedom-fighters with an invigorating speech touting the resilience, positivity in the face of incredible odds, and never-say-die attitude of the human race. He punctuates this speech with a roaring, “Failure is not an option!”
Maybe it’s in that military movie, where the general is outlining an important mission for his small squadron of elite soldiers. He, and this specialist crew, are standing around a table upon which sits a map, that features the topography of a region. This map is marked by lines and triangles of red and blue marker, which highlight a specific route that the team will take. The general speaks in a harsh, gravely, voice, the occasional syllable barked with the sharpness of a gunshot. His intense, piercing, gauge, and fierce jawline are obvious tells of extensive combat experience, and he wraps his monologue with a perfunctory, “We’re all counting on you men. Failure is not an option.”
It could be yet another film, the one where the teenage brother, and nine-year old sister find themselves without parents, in an 1800’s era London. The two destitute, starving, street urchins are living amidst filth, under a bridge. The duo relies on each other to keep their lives going, but in the leanest of times, the sister falls ill, and the older brother finds himself forced to beg, scavenge, and even steal, to find what he can to keep his feverish sibling alive. Each day, waking beneath the bridge on a ratty pile of unwanted bedding, he tells himself as he rises, looks upon the sickly face of his sister, and prepares for a grueling day of hardship, that, “Failure is not an option.”
We can all observe these scenarios with great empathy, and be incredibly grateful that we are not in places such as these, where we would be faced with such challenging conditions. The idea of failure under these conditions means, death for a loved one, a catastrophic result upon failing a mission, or even the potential extinction of humanity!
The idea of failure, to most of us, still carries an incredible weight. We don’t normally make of it a life or death scenario, but from a cultural and societal perspective, we seem to treat failure with considerable gravity.
Maybe a date didn’t go quite the way we thought it would, and our egos find themselves bruised. Failure.
Perhaps we watched a youtube video on how to do a project, or create a culinary item, then it turned out horribly. Failure.
It could be that a young athlete isn’t able to make a sports team during tryouts. Failure.
Maybe you had a job interview, for a position that you were incredibly interested in, but the company selected someone else. Failure.
Perhaps I made a New Years Eve resolution to not eat sweets and desserts for the year, and by March I already ate several donuts. Failure.
It could be someone who wants to learn how to play the guitar, and finds that learning the instrument is too challenging, and requires too much time. Failure.
There are a million ways and a billion points in time that we can identify failure. The question is, when we experience it, why is it so debilitating to our constitution?
Does anyone like to fail? Of course not. We all wish that we could try a thing once, and immediately have proficiency. The problem with that way of thinking, is that it discourages us from repeat failure, which is necessary to learn.
If everyone could assimilate the knowledge and skills of a task, or complicated action, on the first try, then all human beings could be amazing pianists, or brilliant chemists, or marathon runners.
But we fail. Everyone does.
We are just woefully unprepared to fail, when it happens.
From an early age we are taught that we can shoot for the stars! We are brilliant, unique, and capable of anything! We hold the world in our palms, and our achievements will be epic!
We are fed dreams, which are important in youth. But we are not provided the education to deal with failure. And when it happens, which it does, most don’t know how cope with the disappointment.
Failure means a flaw in ones character. Failure means doubt. Failure means internal examination. Failure means self-deprication. Failure kills self-confidence.
This may be what we are led to believe through a failure to educate, but this is not what failures truly mean.
Failures lead to wisdom. Failures lead to better decision making. Failures lead to self-confidence. Failures lead to competence. Failures mean development. Failures mean picking oneself up, from being down. Failures mean feeling low, but also feeling elevated, afterwards. Failures are part of practice, and discipline. Failures lead to strength. Failures mean thorough comprehension. Failures indicate opportunity.
In the weight lifting world, there is even a practice called training to failure, which in the long run, leads to greater strength gains.
But failures must be treated properly. They must be thought upon, but not too much. They must be evaluated but not excessively scrutinized. They must be considered but not the focus. One must be accepting of failure but must not expect to fail. Failure is not a terrible word or feeling, though it may seem so when uttered, or when the sensation is experienced.
The important thought to maintain when experiencing the challenges of failure, is,
“Failure will happen. Failure is a certainty. Failure is absolutely, a part of reality. What I do when I fail, is completely up to me. Failure is my opportunity.”
Humbly yours,
J