BVDL.

VR.

KBBS.

BAIGCCS.

DDG.

RFI.

BAVSS.

BCBS.

Loon.

FO.

3F.

ANTEAD.

BAA.

BVAVSS.

BBBB.

BCBBW.

Blabaer.

BT.

Cake.

CC Bbomb.

CCK.

CONUS.

DDH.

DFH.

DL.

FB.

FFF.

FT.

HF.

Huna.

IBBBBA.

ILMTR.

ISLBS.

ISO.

JWB.

MBCP.

MBP.

MOAS.

OH.

Prop.

PT5.

PVW.

Rare.

Sara.

ShAtrial.

SHit.

SMS.

SOS.

TH.

W12.

Westly.

WWS.

ZD.

While this list of acronyms mean little to the majority of people, to beer drinkers, these have considerable significance.

It should be clarified, that to a very, very, exclusive set of beer drinkers, these have meaning.  The average Yuengling/Bud Light/Corona chugger, likely has no clue, nor concern regarding what VR stands for.  The casual craft beer drinker, who is dabbling with curious looking offerings at a local bottle shop, selecting a mix-a-six to work towards a thousand on untappd, and is making day trips to try “exclusives” at a brewery thirty minutes from home, isn’t going to find a bottle of DQ on the shelf, nor stumble upon a draft of Pliny the Younger.

These are abbreviations for those who are in the know.  They represent rarity, exclusivity, difficulty in attaining, and, a select set of beers that have acheived a great deal of renown.  These combined elements, cause these beers to command a considerable price tag.

Being in tune with the craft beer world, I am aware of these acronyms, and the values of the beers to which they are associated. Quite a few of which, I have in my possession, or have enjoyed on my craft beer journey.  But, today, I encountered an abnormality that has me perplexed, and questioning whether I am truly in the know in the craft beer world.

Here is the acronym for this discovery,

DDHOJ.

No, I am not using incorrect capital letters.

What could this stand for?  Is this a completely new style of beer?  Has the envelope been blow open on flavors? Is this a new Toppling Goliath barrel aged super stout that has now been double dry hopped?  Maybe its a Duck Duck Gooze and a Cantillon hybrid?

Unfortunately, no, it’s none of these.

DDHOJ is orange juice.

To be fair, hopefully, this is amazingly delicious orange juice.   This orange juice was actually canned by a brewery.  It had its own can label and artwork.  There was a special release for this orange juice.  There was a line.  It was advertised as conditioned on mango, and double dry hopped.

It was five dollars for a can.  It was limited to one can per person.

It was orange juice.

On untappd, you can actually check into this beverage.

You can check in to an orange juice.

There are rumors that a pineapple juice, conditioned on papaya, and triple dry hopped, is in the works.

If this will be a trend in the craft “beer” world, then I will likely see myself out in short order.  Selling this to enthusiasts, is completely insulting, not to mention disgustingly exploitative of a devoted craft beer populous, their integrity, and their time, and finances.

If this was offered, as a two-dollar, twelve-ounce draft, with the presentation as a unique, experimental, non-alcoholic alternative in the taproom, I could be more forgiving.

The fact that there are untappd ratings of an orange juice that eclipse a four out of five rating strikes me as absolute buffoonery.

Actually, I’m a little appalled that TH would limit themselves to selling five dollar cans of double dry hopped orange juice.  I’m sorry, I forgot that it was conditioned on mango.

If I were to employ a Renaissance mentality, as a craft beer brewer, to can an orange juice, I would make sure that, when I was charging five dollars for that can, the enthusiast was getting value for their hard-earned dollar.

I would make sure that the orange juice that I used, was fresh squeezed by an octogenarian or older, so that there was an element of aging involved from the very beginning.  If that person was had migrated from foreign shores, that would lend an additional, uniquely exotic element to the orange juice.  After the squeezing, the orange juice would condition on passion fruit, mango, kiwi, mangosteen, jabuticaba, and durian, and would then be aged in Pappy Van Winkle barrels for years, before a considerable rest on vanilla beans, and saffron.  Once complete, a quadruple dry hopping would be the only appropriate finishing for the orange juice.  After which, a cork and cage process would commence, followed by a dual layer waxing of the bottles.

I would do all of these things, because I would be meticulous about the flavors, the conditioning, the mouthfeel, and the presentation of releasing, not a fermented beverage, but an orange juice. And in the interest of creating hype around my new craft orange juice, I would make sure that there was an appropriate acronym, so that the craft “beer” world new of it’s elite status.

DDHOJ.

Thank you Scot and Jen for the inspiration.

Humbly yours,

J