The perfect, wrinkle-free, dark denim skinny jeans he wears, hang slightly loose around a trim waist, and cinch tightly, at the ankles.
The white canvas shoes, with red and blue stitching, and red, thick, shoe strings, he wears, not completely laced, upon his feet.
He wears a crisp, white, t-shirt underneath a loosely hanging, unbuttoned, heather grey and faded red, stripped, cotton cardigan.
The light green, thin, and seemingly useless scarf that he wears is wrapped around his neck. A disproportionately long section haphazardly hangs down to his naval.
And the beard, immaculately trimmed, and shimmering with healthy luster, graces his chin and rounds out the image.
But the most important part completes this display, the sunglasses. He wears a pair of silver rimmed aviators that complete obscure his eyes.
He enters the building casually, and with a swagger and gait that is impossibly cool.
He strolls down the aisle, looking for something, but of course, not really looking for anything at all.
He turns to the left, and runs right into a table, promptly relieving it of half of its contents. He might be startled, but no one knows for sure, as none can see the true expression, since his eyes are hidden by the sunglasses. All eyes are on this man, he expected that anyway, just not because he made a foolish scene. He makes an effort to clean up his disaster, but essentially throws all the product into a heap on the table, and strolls off in the opposite direction.
The lesson learned is not, don’t be a hipster, that lesson was learned a long time ago. No one has enough time to worry about hipsters anymore. The lesson learned is to, whoever you are, stop wearing your sunglasses indoors. Please, take two minutes and think about how necessary it is to have your sunglasses on while shopping for clothes, or paying for gas, or buying groceries, or any number of things involving you being, inside. Ask yourself, why can’t I just put these on top of my head, if I must keep them affixed to my cranium? Maybe, I could just leave them in the car? How much sun, are your SUNglasses, protecting your eyes from when indoors?
Humbly yours,
J