OH MY GOD!  WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY DO? MY ARM DOESNT REACH FAR ENOUGH ALOFT TO ENCAPSULATE MY SURROUNDINGS AND TO INCLUDE MY FACE IN ONE SELF-ABSORBED IMAGE!

Just in time for this scenario, the selfie-stick enters the market.

Not only is it an additional, essentially irrational contraption, but it boasts the ability to improve the quality and visibility of self-whoring, narcissistic behavior.

Can’t, or won’t, dedicate enough time towards being an actor? Feed your need for attention with a selfie!

Paying for a portrait seems insanely expensive?  Digitally capture your essence with a selfie!

Once upon a time, those enamored with themselves decided to display themselves in front of a mirror for judgement.  Now the same type of behavior is snapshotted and displayed, desperately and pathetically, across social media channels.

This all-powerful SELFIE STICK is an implement designed to enhance and bolster the frequency and supposed overall experience derived from the selfie taking experience.

How much does that extra six inches add to your explorations for self-worth?  How much does that extension offer to your self-confidence?  Could this erection aid you in lubricating your loins?

When you are in love with yourself, do you need an item designed to extend the broadcast range of that narcissism?  Cleary you do.  Because this product exists.

How about trying a new product?

This one is free.

Try loving and giving attention to your fellow-man, or woman, who interacts with you everyday, and sees you beyond the digital veil, and into the yearning, pure, center that you are.

Eventually that selfie stick will find a wholly new purpose, that which is not pointed toward the sky and designed to capture your imagined magnificence, but towards the ground, and desperately planted, step-by-step, to prevent your faltering, depreciating corpus from crashing to the ground.

Humbly yours,

J