Abjectness

It was a mistake to think,

I could live in this world.

It was error to think

I’d fit in.

 

There were so many flags that

told me there was no place,

for the being that I am.

I walked someone else’s walk,

and was the mouthpiece for other’s words,

yet knew not what were my own.

I played a part in someone else’s play

and believed I was the main draw.

Then I realized, that I was just a

sideshow attraction.

 

And when I finally figured out who

I am, was, or should be, I found that the path that I

had put myself upon, was someone else’s

idea of who I was supposed to be, and

the life I was supposed to live, and was

according to someone else’s notion of

a purported idea of a life.   And I couldn’t find a way

to leave that path.

 

Then I shed real, passionate, soul-burning tears,

for the man I wish I could have been.

 

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