There are a million ways to show someone that you care. And just as many ways to show love.

Some, choose to demonstrate care through specific actions. Offering to make a special trip to the store to pick up a forgotten prescription, is an example. Preparing dinner and cleaning up all the dishes is a caring action.  Cleaning a persons car could be a way to show someone how important they are.  Attending an event or movie with someone, even though you may not have particular interest in the occasion, shows caring.  Actions are a powerful way to show another that they matter. 

Another way, of course, is to tell someone how you feel.  This may seem very simple, but it may be more challenging for some people to verbalize their feelings and emotions. “You mean so much to me, I’m so glad you’re in my life.” “Your friendship and counsel are invaluable to me.” “I really appreciate the way you look at things.” “Your consideration for others makes me love you even more.” “Your sense of humor is one of your best characteristics.” “I really value you lending an ear when I need it.” These are just a small selection of the countless ways to express someone’s importance to you.

Yet another way to express love, and care, is through touch.  Gently laying a hand on someone’s forearm during a delicate conversation shows caring. Embracing someone warmly as a greeting, demonstrates acceptance and appreciation. Holding hands during a walk connects people and shows love and affection. And of course, the act of lovemaking, exhibits this physical touch expression passionately.  A back rub, or foot massage, shows caring. Running your hand through a partners hair, shows this as well. Cuddling on the couch isn’t just comfortable, it also sends an amatory message.

Showing someone they are important can also be expressed through gift giving.  Dropping by with lunch from a favorite eatery, tells someone that they are important.   Finding a special beer that a friend wanted to try, and sharing it with them, shows that you care.   Buying a cup of coffee for a coworker, tells them that they matter. Surprising your significant other with concert tickets for their favorite band, shows love.  Picking out the perfect present for a birthday, or holiday, is an exhibition of consideration. 

All of these ways to show that you care can be done daily, some can be expressed multiple times a day. No perceived gain needs to be behind expressing caring, or love. There doesn’t have to be a calendar date compulsion, to show someone they are important.

But there is something that is required of these expressions. There is a precursor to these displays. There is an important link between all the aforementioned shows of affection and appreciation.

The integral part of caring, and loving, is paying attention. Few things can show someone how much you care like paying attention, or how little you care by not doing so.  All of the discussed displays are wonderful, but without first paying attention, there’s really no way to perform the type of action someone prefers, to select the words a loved one needs to feel appreciated, to choose the particular touch someone likes, or to give the gift that makes that important person say, “Oh my god!” instead of, “That’s really nice.”

It’s a small, simple, but perpetual choice.  It involves listening over speaking. It means being observant, instead of oblivious. It needs presence and focus, instead of distraction. It is necessary to choose sacrifice, over selfishness.  

In order to express genuine care, and love, it is vital to do one essential thing…..

Pay attention.

Humbly yours,

J