Sometimes behaviors strike me as odd, inappropriate, or socially rude.

People who don’t follow a reasonable “human” traffic flow at a mall bother me. People who smoke while pumping gas, really irritate me. Those that deliberately misspell words, for example, using wit instead of with, gets under my skin. (Admittedly the brutally excruciating effort required by the extra keystroke surely plays a factor for some.)

Tonight, I am adding another to my list of abhorrent behaviors that need to immediately cease. This should-be-banned behavior is that of conducting conversations on blue-tooth headsets while walking around, or being in close proximity to, others in public. (further use of the word headset will indicate blue tooth, wired, weirdly concealed, or other iterations of mobile in-ear yap pieces.)

I like to imagine how this behavior might be perceived, say, fifty years ago. A well dressed individual would be seen yammering away, seemingly to themselves, about an injustice at todays under twelve soccer championship. This person would be heard saying “Hold on, I have another call.” And then witnessed saying “NO! I can’t make it at that time!” Followed by a few oks, and a whispered assurance that he would be in by eight. This person would move on to discuss dinner plans with themselves, reaffirm their return time to their residence, and proceed to loudly proclaim their love for, themselves. As the “headset”, let alone cell phone, hadn’t even been invented at this point, those privy to this manic display would have already alerted security, and likely law enforcement.

At present, though, we see this type of behavior all the time. And if you are like myself, when observing this type of chatter my first reaction is truly to assume that the person is unhinged. But then I retune to modern, tech-centric understanding and search for the in-ear transmitter. When I locate the device I then retract my judgement regarding insanity, and promptly deem the individual an inconsiderate asshole.

If he/she has a phone to their ear, and is carrying on a conversation in public, I may question why everyone has to hear their dialogue, but I will at least hold out hope that the conversation is important enough to offset the disruption of everyone nearby. With a headset there are more steps involved to determining the cause of the unnecessary and incorrigible cacophony. In addition there is the considerable risk that the booming conversation, overhead in the frozen food aisle, about froyo and flocked pop figures might not be occurring via headset with another human being, but that a certifiably bonkers individual may be the source of the weird dialogue.

These headsets are made to assist when communication is necessary concurrent with the need to travel. My hope is that they go back to functioning that way. There are enough odd individuals in the world. I sincerely do not wish to pit sanity versus headset when, shopping for groceries, I overhear “I don’t understand why Señor Chips doesn’t want to go out anymore and keeps eating the cactus.”

Humbly yours,

J