What’s so wrong with the light?

When you feel deeply, how do you express it?

Can it be expressed for you?

Do you reach for the channel that comforts you most?  Is it the one that exists like a pair of worn sweatpants, the ones that fit so comfortably and that you rub your tired hands over knowing the sensation will quell your emotional aches?

Does it pacify you in the way that scents of lavender and chamomile are purportedly to do to many?  Do you inhale the air of that fresh lit candle, and recede into the tranquil clearing in your mind, where the subtle gurgling of a low waterfall, and the halcyon stillness of your environs act as momentary stay on your trembling soul?

Where do you feel the touch that gives your skin a reason to prick up, and feel pleasantly agitated?  When does the coerced conformity shell crack open, ever slightly, and the lukewarm light of another persons similarly dimmed decency rake warm fingers across your cold jaded forearms?

Do you experience these in day-to-day interactions?  Do you touch on them in your reflections?  Do you connect via your un-willful solicitations?

Do you feel numb? Do you yearn towards, well, anything, anything at all?  Have you felt so distant, so horribly distant that you were not retrievable?  Have you relegated yourself to the darkest corners of the closed-off attic from which you’d never be found?

Do you sit, querulously questioning your own vacuousness?  Do you hear the absence of your own repressed longings nail-scratching the inside of your skull?  Do you allow yourself to let the light in, regardless of the shroud you’ve elected?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92Ar3rMoQKo

When I find hope such as this, I just smile, knowing that i can still feel the light.

Humbly yours,

J